


Birthday Surprise

by fireflysglow_archivist



Category: Firefly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-03-17
Updated: 2005-03-17
Packaged: 2019-04-29 13:39:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14473890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fireflysglow_archivist/pseuds/fireflysglow_archivist
Summary: Who's Birthday Surprise is it?





	Birthday Surprise

**Author's Note:**

> Note from alice ttlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Firefly’s Glow](https://fanlore.org/wiki/Firefly%27s_Glow), and was moved to the AO3 as part of the Open Doors project in 2018. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are the creator and would like to claim this work, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Firefly's Glow collection profile](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/fireflysglow/profile).

Birthday Surprise

## Birthday Surprise

It had been eight and a half long dreary months since River had slipped away from Serenity. Everyone missed her laugh and funny observations about people, the ship seemed smaller somehow. 

After Ian Mackie's business took them from Liberty to Holden's Planet, there River had been and gone but not before she had set up another deal and left letters for everyone. 

They all looked forward to Rivers letters; they not only assured the crew that she was safe and well, but she always had something interesting to tell them. Unfortunately her stories never gave them enough of a clue to try and find her. 

Jayne was usually first off the boat and fastest at getting the cargo off, so he could grab his letter and return to his bunk to read it. River always made sure to have a little something in the letter just for him, sometimes it was a new move for their chess game, he had Simon take over for River, or a book she thought he wood like. Jayne was working his way through the history of the colt revolver. 

At every planet fall they heard rumors of this singing and dancing sensation called Tyler Waters, Kaylee was always mad because they always just missed her show. 

"An she never takes all her clothes off, Tyler is funny and pretty and her shows are always packed." Kaylee said in a rush, "Cap'n can we go, please, it would be just shiny. Lestor said that River, I mean Pixie left the ticket for us. And it is Jayne's birthday, can we go please?" 

Mal could never resist Kaylee especially when she wanted something so simple, "Sure Mei Mei we're all goin" 

Kaylee gave Mal a quick hug "I love my captain" before running off to tell the rest of the crew of their night out. 

Mal went looking for Jayne, he was pretty sure he knew where he would find him. 

Jayne sat in his bunk rereading the letter that River had left for him at this last stop; he was surprised at how much he missed her, her laughter, her imagination and how she saw something in him that no one else saw. 

He actually had not had another woman since River had left, the one time he had tried with the whore, he felt sick and dirty and couldn't take it any further. 

It did not help that River kept writing bits and pieces in her letters of that afternoon at the hot spring, just enough to get him off when he was alone in his bunk at night. It also did not help that he could still feel her on the edge of his mind, and the dreams at night were enough to make even the Shepard want to get a blowjob. 

Mal stuck his head into Jayne's bunk when the hatch opened, "We're goin into town tonight, no one is stayin home" 

"Aw Mal, I don't feel" 

"Don't even start Jayne, we are all goin" Mal slammed the hatch shut. 

The men were all gathered in the cargo hold waiting for the women to emerge from Inara's shuttle where they had been ensconced for most of the afternoon. 

"Ladies as usual you look lovely" Book stated as he noticed the women descending the stairs. 

Simon's eyes were only for Kaylee, who was wearing a simple cream dress that fell from two slim straps off her shoulders "wow" was all he managed to say. 

As Wash moved forward to hold his hand out to his wife, he eyed the dress that seemed to be made up of ribbon, thin red ribbon wrapped around her body. "I agree with Simon, Wow," Wash spun his wife in a circle, "I do so love pretty packages wrapped up in ribbon, Christmas came early this year." 

Laughing Zo leaned into Wash "Later husband, I must say you clean up nicely yourself." Wash for a change was wearing a plain blue shirt instead of one of his Hawaiian shirts, "I must say the tie is a nice touch husband." 

Wash looked down at his tie which sported bright yellow and red parrots, "It is isn't' it." Zo laughed and gave her husband a kiss, he would not be Wash without something that screamed bad taste. 

Inara walked over to Mal and straightened his collar, "Wow" she whispered with a smile. 

"With his witty repartee you can see why Simon was in the top three percent of his class," Mal replied, with a look of appreciation at Inara, who as usual looked elegant and beautiful. 

"If we are done disparaging my compliments," Simone said with a grin, "we should go, we do not want to be late." 

Jayne's gruff voice came from the doorway, "Let's get this show on the road." He led the way out of Serenity, remembering his manners he held the door of the waiting transport for the women. 

"Oh it's so shiny," Kaylee breathed as the stepped out at the theatre. The lights sparkled and the doorman intimidated anyone who dared to come to close to the velvet rope, the line of people waiting to get in stretched around the corner. 

The doorman was as dark as his suit, his voice was a deep rumble as he released the velvet rope and greeted everyone, "Good evening Ambassador, Captain. Welcome Doctor, Ms Frye, Shepard, Mr. and Mrs. Warren a pleasure to see you" 

With and elegant flick of his wrist, he motioned a woman forward "Nyli will see you to your box." 

With a slight bow "Please follow me" the young woman led the way into the lobby of the theatre. 

Mal had not missed the fact that the doorman had not greeted Jayne and in fact threw a glare at his back, leaning he whispered in Inara's ear "It seems that Jayne's reputation has preceded us." 

Kaylee admired the dcor as the moved through the lobby, "look Captain, Inara they have floating chandeliers just like at that fancy ball we went to" 

Nyli who had taken the Shepard's arm overheard Kaylee's comments "Ms Tyler is very pleased on how everything turned out. She said that a friend had told her about chandeliers just like those and since her friend had so admired them Ms Tyler had to have them for the lobby of the Moulin. Ms Tyler feels they give a sense of fantasy to the lobby." 

Kaylee piped up "Ms Tyler owns this?" 

Nyli nodded "Yes, she opened the Moulin about six months ago, we are very pleased to have a reservation list of eighteen months." 

As they moved along the corridor, Nyli made sure to point out artwork she felt they might like. Too soon for Kaylee's liking they were shown into a small room with one wall that was a golden velvet curtain. 

"Your server this evening will be Kristoff," Nyli announced as a young man stepped forward and bowed. Seeing that the clients were seated and Kristoff was properly serving drinks Nyli excused herself. 

Knocking lightly on a door beneath the stage, Nyli once again wondered why the owner and star would choose a far less extravagant dressing room than the other performers. Entering the softly lighted room, Nyli saw that Ms Tyler was behind the dressing screen. "Madame your guests have arrived." 

"Thank you Nyli, please bring them up on the monitor for me." 

"Certainly Madame" Nyli quickly moved to the lighted dressing mirror, slipping a hidden catch she typed a few commands on the keyboard that was revealed, the mirror changed into a monitor screen. 

Leaving quietly as she had entered Nyli slipped out of the office and back upstairs; she did not hear her chief choke back a cry. If Nyli had stayed she would have seen her red haired patron running her fingers over the monitor, over a face Nyli would have recognized, as she had just escorted to the box. Tears ran unchecked down Tyler's face. 

"Look Captain my drink has an umbrella, a sword and a bunch of fruit in it." Kaylee's excitement was bubbling through the whole box, leaving none of them unaffected. "What have you got Zo?" Kaylee leaned over to get a closer look at the poisonous green concoction in Zo's glass. 

"It's called the Pilot's Gambit" Wash announced, "I just had to get a couple of em, how does it taste lamby toes?" 

"Limes and mint," Zo replied after taking a tentative sip, taking a deeper drink "I think I like it, thank you husband." Zo leaned over and placed a kiss on Wash's cheek. 

Going around the table Kaylee found Book was drinking a Monk's Hood, Inara was drinking a sparkling bubbly drink that kept changing colors called Serenity, and Kaylee had managed to talk Simon into a drink called Doctor's Orders that seemed to taste different every time he sipped at it. 

Soon dinner was served, everyone joked and laughed and enjoyed their meals, Simon regaled them with a story of how when they were children he and River had been dragged to a theatre very similar to this, but how the food was disastrous, 'the dcor was enough to give a warthog a headache', "Rivers description, not mine" Simon noted. The evening had been unendurable, and Simon went on to explain how River had come bouncing into his room at 4:00 in the morning with plans all drawn out on how to make everything better. "This is very much how River's plans looked," Simon noted. 

A thoughtful look crossed Mal's face after Simon finished his story. 

Kristoff entered with the dessert trolley, shaking Mal out of his line of thought. 

"Oooh, dessert" cried Wash. 

"The show will be starting in approximately twenty minutes," Kristoff announced, "If you require anything please ring this bell." With that Kristoff left taking the remains of the dinner with him. 

Exploring the dessert cart Wash found cigars and port, which he placed on the table, rising Inara asked "Ladies, shall we leave the men to their cigars?" 

Watching the women leave Wash wondered aloud "Does anyone else think we are the luckiest men in the verse or is it just me?" 

Simon laughed as he handed out cigars and poured drinks all around "A toast" he raised his glass "To the luckiest men in the Verse!" 

Just after the women returned, the gold curtain slid aside to reveal a large stage, the lights slowly brightened revealing scantily clad dancers covering the stage, Kaylees "ooh" of appreciation was lost in the music. 

Jayne sat in the rear of the box, ignoring the action on the stage, determined to drink as much of this fine port as he could hold. 

He felt out of sorts, he had not been sleeping well over the past couple of months, every time he fell asleep he would dream of him having sex with River, the dreams left him hard and aching and awake. 

No matter how many times he jerked off it did not seem to help, and it just was not the physical ache it was also the emotional ache that kept him awake most nights. 

"And the person everyone has been waiting for.......Tyler Waters" the announcer called, A woman was being lowered over the head of the crowd, on some type of swing, as she passed by the box she let out a peal of laughter. The crowd erupted in a roar, they gave the woman a standing ovation as she started to sing. 

No one noticed that Jayne had gone totally white and stared hard at the woman on the swing; jumping to his feet he bolted out of the box. 

Jayne quickly moved back the way they came in, he did not have a plan, he figured something would turn up. Looking around he spotted one of the waiters exiting a hidden door. 

Walking quickly through the hallways that were clearly not for public use Jayne, made his way to the dressing rooms, thanks to having a map on the wall, he knew exactly where to go. 

Moving deeper into the building, he checked the names on the doors as he passed, finally at the end of the hallway he found the name he was looking for, checking the door was unlocked he slipped inside the room to wait. 

The door opened a silhouette was outlined in the light from the hallway "Charles, Miranda is doing quite well, but see to it that Amanda keeps up as her understudy. The guests in box's 28, 32 and 45 should be getting complimentary plates of serving 14. I think that is everything; please have my dinner sent down. Thank you" 

Charles' "Aye Madame was cut off by the closing of the door. 

Leaning back against the door River said, "Quit hiding in the corner Jayne it's not your style" 

Jayne drank in the sight of River, she looked good, older and some how more settled. He blurted out the first thing that came to mind "I haven't had sex in eight months" 

River burst out laughing, she laughed so hard she sat on the floor tears slid down her face suddenly she was sobbing. 

Jayne was unsure of what he should do; crossing the room he picked River up and sat down with her in his lap, he murmured into her hair and rubbed her back in hopes that she would uncurl and say something. 

Rivers sobs slowed to hiccups, "Still the same old Jayne, you haven't changed a bit." 

Jayne was now totally confused, as long as he lived he would never understand people "Was I sposed to?" 

River clambered off his lap, and he noticed that she was not moving with her usual grace, but as she had stepped swiftly behind screen he could not study her movements. 

"So how is everyone? Did they all enjoy the dinner and the show?" Sticking her head around the screen she eyed Jayne "You did watch the show?" River asked. 

Using the fact there was a knock a t the door to ignore River's last question Jayne moved to open the door. The tall doorman entered pushing a cart, from which he placed dinner on the table. 

He handed Jayne a glass of whiskey, along with a hard look "Please give Madame some peace she needs it." With that cryptic remark he turned and left. 

"Please ignore Charles he seems to feel that every ones life is to be calm and peaceful" 

Spinning around Jayne saw River sitting quietly at the table; she was backlit by the dressing mirror so that he could not quite make out her face as he sat down across from her. 

River played with her silverware hoping Jayne would not pick up on how nervous she was, even though she could still feel him at the edge of her conscious she had made a deliberate attempt to keep him away over the past six months. 

Clearing her throat River started to say "So how have" just as Jayne started to say the same thing. They looked at each other, unsure of where the other stood, River took a drink of her water. 

Clearing his throat Jayne asked, "So you gonna come back to Serenity or what? Kaylee's been kinda missin ya." 

Looking down at the table top River played with the silverware "It depends on the answer I get to a question I have to ask a certain person I know, he might refuse." 

Jayne frowned, "What questions?" 

In a rush River asked "Will You Marry Me?" 

"Why would he refuse you, your smart, beautiful own your very own business, he would be an idiot to refuse you." Jayne felt a pain that was worse than any gun shot he had ever taken, River was going to ask some sishengz who didn't deserve her, to marry him. 

River looked at Jayne in shock, her mouth fell open, recovering she told him "I think he might refuse because the last thing he said to me was "Your nothing but trouble, git the hell away from me." 

"Gorram it why did you run River" Jayne burst out, it was a question that had been eating at him ever since she had left "It wasn't because we fucked was it?" 

River laughed bitterly, "leave it to you Jayne Cobb to put it so bluntly, but no it was not because we fucked, as you so crudely put it. I can see this was a bad idea, could you please leave." River rose shaking from the table, and pointed to the door. 

Jayne let out a curse he could suddenly see why River was not her graceful self, "Who was it, I'll kill the bastard" 

River looked at him in confusion "Kill who?" 

"The qingwa co de limng bastard that got your pregnant that's who" Jayne roared, "I'll kill him for just touchin you" 

"Why do you care, you ?" River yelled back at Jayne, to hurt by his description of what she considered one of the most beautiful moments in her life to really register what they were yelling at each other. 

"I love you, and no one has the right to touch you" 

Dead silence fell between the two combatants, as they both realized exactly what Jayne had said. 

"Do you mean it"? 

"Your damn right, no one has the right to touch you" Jayne tried to play dumb, to scared of what he had revealed. 

River looked up into Jayne's eyes, "No silly do you mean it when you say you love me?" She waited for his answer, either she would be over the moon or, she could not bear to think about the alternative. 

"Said it didn't I." Jayne mumbled, "But you still have to let me kill him" He said loudly. 

River moved around the table to Jayne's side, "Why would I want the man who just declared his love for me dead?" 

It took a moment for Jayne to sort out what River had said, "You mean, Me, You, Us??" It came out rather strangled, right before Jayne fainted out cold.

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

Title:   **Birthday Surprise**   
Series Name:   **Bananas are Evil; Apples are Good**   
Author:   **Wrenn**   
Details:   **Series**  |  **PG-13**  |  **gen**  |  **16k**  |  **03/17/05**   
Characters:  Malcolm, Zoe, Wash, Kaylee, Jayne, Simon   
Summary:  Who's Birthday Surprise is it?   
  



End file.
